Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

During our interaction with the society, we will meet different kinds of people. Some are nice and we like to work with them, and others are "rediculous" and make us headach. But the life is crucial, we cannot choose our bettlefield.

So the first thing is change ourselves. I have read a book written by Dale Carnegie, who is well known by his training on interpersonal skills. The book's tittle is "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It gives a list of self-improment to make people like us or at least to achieve our basic purposes when dealing with people.

Other than that, I think the conflict can be divided into two categories: the short-term and the long-term.


The short-term is simple. Me and John are colleagues. We are fine to work with each other, and even are good friends afterwork. However, in a project, we have totally opposite opinion. John thinks the CPI of next season will be over 4.7%, but I don't. This could affect a lot in the company's investment strategy. Therefore, we insist our own opinion and no one wills to give in. Even worse, we have a quarrel and end up with a "cold war".


What shall I do? When most of people in the quarrel, they are irrational. This could due to their over-valued self-pride even they realise they might be wrong. So give them some time to let them cool down. We may invite them a cup of coffee or a mug of chilled beer after work. Make the conversation is a relax environment. Put myself in an attitude that I might be wrong and I'm here to learn from you sincerely. Start the talking from his interest. Never say "you are wrong". During the conversation, he might realise that you are the right person and will to admit your idea. If you are at the wrong side, don't be hesitating to admit and apologise.

Another situation is the long-term conflict. Sometimes, we dislike a person without reason. Under this circumstance, the first thing we can do is being professional. Do not let the personal feeling affect the job. Business is business. Finish your job and leave. Moreover, you may find his internal flashpoints after woking a while with him.

Last but not least, don't forget to put a smile on your face!